


Hollow

by heckinwacky



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, except 15x20, fuck 15x20 <3, takes place between 15x13 and 15x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckinwacky/pseuds/heckinwacky
Summary: Castiel wakes to find himself in the place he'd least expect to be.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 41





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while since 15x13 aired, but I figured I'd wait to see what the rest of the season had in store. 
> 
> Oh boy.

How was he back here? 

God wasn’t defeated.

Earth wasn’t at peace.

He was far from happy…

So how did Castiel find himself back in the Empty?

“Hello?” He tried calling out, knowing it was no use. His footsteps echoed through the endless span of darkness. 

“Welcome back, Clarence,” A voice loomed, echoing through the bleak expanse. 

Cas turned left and right, frantically searching for its source, only to return to his original position and see Meg—no—the Shadow facing him once more.

“What am I doing here?” Cas snapped, scowling, “I’m not dead and I’m sure as hell not happy.  _ Why  _ am I here?” He demanded of the entity, stepping closer into its space.

“Like I said, Death doesn’t have anywhere for you in her little plan, so you’re up for grabs,” it sneered, mimicking Cas’ previous movements, now nose-to-nose with the angel.

“I haven’t fulfilled my end of the deal.”

“I know that, feathers,” The voice drawls, “But I’m still allowed to have a bit of fun, aren’t I?” With a clench of its fist, Cas dropped to his knees. 

Cas glared at the being before him.

“Then have the common decency not to defile a dear friend’s image.” Getting thrown back into this infinite plane of absence was maddening enough, but to be tormented again with the twisted imitation of Meg, Cas felt a burning rage spark within his chest. 

The Shadow smirked at the angel.

“You want my face to be more up to date then, Castiel?” His name slipped through the entity’s lips like silk, and its form began to distort, black goo billowing around it. 

Cas’ eyes widened. A realization, a clue, a cruel joke as to who would next stand before him, his next haunting memory. He jerked his head away from the entity.

“What’s the matter?” A deep voice taunted, “This hit a little too close to home,  _ Sunshine _ ?” 

Cas forced himself to look back at the Shadow, only to find Dean Winchester staring right back at him.

“Don’t.” Cas choked off, fighting to face him dead on. Dean—no—the Empty was glowering down at the angel with a wicked grin, reminiscent of Dean’s affliction with the Mark.

“C’mon,  _ Cas _ , aren’t you more comfortable with me looking like this? Your Righteous Man? We’ve had some fond memories, Casti-“

“There is no  _ us _ .” Cas gritted. “You aren’t Dean.”

“But you wish I was.”

The angel tore himself from the entity’s cold stare, but a hand forced his chin to look directly into those green eyes with an icy grip. 

_ This. Isn’t. Dean.  _

“No need in denying it, Castiel, I  _ know _ how you feel. About the world. About yourself. About  _ humanity _ . Been through your head, remember?”

Cas couldn’t break his gaze.

“All of your guilt, your self-loathing. What do you really expect to happen once we beat Chuck? Sunshine and rainbows? A family embracing you with open arms?”

The Empty cupped the side of Cas’ face, eyes still locked with the angel’s. 

“Happiness?”

Green. Soothing, comfortable green.  _ Home _ . Cas realized he was leaning into the touch. 

“You...” Dean rubbed his thumb along his cheekbone. “...want him.”

Cas’ eyes slipped closed.

“You really think that after everything he’d still have you? That after all this is over, you two could just settle down? That’s cute, Cas. But pathetic.” He jerked his hand away from the angel.

Cas leaned forward, chasing the hand that cradled him, but snapped out of it. He drew in uneven breaths.

“Why bother going back there when there’s still nowhere to return to?”

Those words again. A broken, busted-up angel. No wings, no home. Humanity as his fatal weakness. Castiel knew the Empty was trying to break him, get him to stay, to finally rest. But deep down, was everything it was saying a lie? 

No—He needed to go back. He still has his mission. Sam and Dean, Jack…they still need to be protected. He needs to go back for  _ them _ . Even if they don’t need him.

“Oh Cas, still strong-willed as ever…” Dean raised his hand.

Cas prepared for the excruciating pain to follow.

“Cas…” a voice was echoing throughout his mind.

“Cas…

“Cas?

“Cas!”

Castiel’s eyes snap open.

A warm hand grips his shoulder. “Cas, hey…” Dean sits, hovering over him. Where were they? Cas glances around him where he’s face down on a hard surface. 

Table. 

Library. 

Bunker. 

He tries standing, but his entire being feels fuzzy.

“You alright?” Dean still holds his shoulder in a vice, stabilizing both of them, “I’d been shaking you for almost five minutes.”

“I’m fine, it’s just…” Cas looks forward at the dimly lit computer screen. That’s right, he was looking for signs of—

“Amara tire you out?” Dean asks with an amused huff.

“Yes…” Cas starts, “The search has been quite unsuccessful. No strange power surges or any black cloud sightings. Must’ve just exhausted myself.” He keeps his eyes away from the hunter.

“Thought angels didn’t sleep.” Dean retorts, a note of concern lacing his voice.

“We can still rest.” Cas doesn’t want to make Dean worry. Keeping his suspicions down meant not placing yet another burden on their plate. It meant not putting Cas above the rest of their problems. There are more important things to worry about.

“Okay.” Dean searches Cas’ eyes. 

“I think our best bet is Heaven.” Cas changes the subject, still focused on the monitor. 

“Why?” Dean asks, a slight raise of his voice.

“Maybe one of the angels has a lead. They were able to track down Michael.” Cas shifts to get up from his seat.

“Wait, slow down Mr. Comatose.” Dean stands right after him. Cas hasn’t heard that one in a while. “How are you so sure they’ll help you?”

“My standing in Heaven has become…less complicated.” Cas reassures Dean. “I’ll come back once I get a lead on Amara’s location.” he starts to walk out of the library. 

Dean grabs Cas’ wrist. Cas turns his head. His chest constricts. He could easily free himself of Dean’s firm grasp, a testament to the angel’s true strength. But Castiel just lets him, grounding him in place, the warmth settling in his arm almost overwhelming. He glances up.

Green. Comfort. Home. 

_ Beautiful _ .

“Just…” Dean’s eyes dance around Cas’s face. 

They still hadn’t talked about Purgatory. Their reconciliation. Something was still left unsaid.

_ Don’t go. _

Dean swallows.

“Be careful.”

Cas smiles and nods, the knot in his chest loosening. 

Dean reluctantly lets go of his grasp. Before he can say anything else, Cas was leaving the Bunker off to find another way, another step in their plan to take out Chuck and save the world one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading y'all! This is my first posted fic, so I'd love to see any kudos/comments!
> 
> I'm also on Tumblr :) momolibby.tumblr.com


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